What is love? (Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.....)
The Bible is really clear about love, love is patient (I have not been patient). Love is kind, love does not envy or boast. I envy friends who have that. Love does not demand its own way (I demand my own way all the time). Love hope all things believes all things, love never fails. I am sure I am missing portions of it.
I am afraid that the feelings I have, are they idolatrous? Honestly my walk though screwed is more honest than it ever has been. I am open about my sin which I usually hide until I am ready to go back to church.... I want God to be preeminent in my life and I also have a desire for marriage and children. What would true love look like? Love would want me to love Jesus more, to walk in a manner worthy of Christ, would want purity, to put everything in God's hands, to love others.
I am an emotional mess right know yet it's okay. I am seeking the Lord to reveal His will. Praying for God to help us, to heal any hurt, to strengthen us whatever happens, to love one another rightly, to want more than anything to love God.
Love would take a person as they are and pray for them to grow in Christ-likeness.
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