Try again

So I decided to try online dating and it's mentally tiring. I built up a profile with my best most recent picture. I set forth what I am looking for. Its been 10 years with this desire to be a wife and mother. I realize though that though it is a desire that I have it is a possible that it will never be realized this side of the veil. I have to be okay with that.

Dream

There are times when the things I dream are about future events. Those are like wisps of clouds that disappear with the morning sun. That when the moment arises there is a strange sense of deja vu. My dream yesterday was not like that. I was moving and I was leaving town with my dad. He had sold the house and fast. I was leaving my sister behind. I was ready to leave but thought my dad was being demanding. He commanded me "Levita don't look at history!" Then I danced one last dance to Christian music with my sister before I was to leave. What that means I do not know but it does remind me of this bible verse.

Philippians 3:13-14 ESV

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Love

 I find that about this time of year I truly want to share what I have learned about love. What most people go to is 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient, love is kind, love does don't boast or demand its own way. These are all true. God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. 

God loves not like man does. Its not about looks, its about character and the work he does. The romantic side of me longs for all the trappings. Yet I was hurt and wounded and what I felt spurned so I kind of do not want to take another chance. Yet I trust that God's love does not fail.