Transparent

I have been the past few months putting a wall between me and people. I want to escape so I allow my mind to seek a distraction. I have been hiding from God and been bitter against God. This past Saturday was the Good News Festival and I have been to each since the beginning. God by his ever present mercies brought me there that I may see my sin. The bitterness, the fear, the pride. I closed the door of the bathroom that I would shed tears without anyone watching. I hate crying. I said I was fine but I was not. God is sufficient, God is a God who sees. I need to trust Him. I need to see Him. I want to dwell in His courts. I want to be myself. I want to be conformed to His image and not worry about the future. He has brought me brokenness and trial like the wayward wife in Hosea that I may remember every good thing I have is from the Father. I am tired of talking about it, of feeling alone when the truth is I am not. John 14 says if you live God He will dwell with you and make His home with you. Its wedding you know I prayed that they would make me die to myself and they did yet I did not know how painful the dying would be. Yet as always to God be the Glory.

Hiding place

I am hiding and God is here. Another wedding tomorrow.

God with me

His name shall be Emmanuel meaning God with us...
The Holy Spirit is within, the very same Spirit that descended on Jesus bodily as a dove. I have noticed something the last few days and I want people to see and marvel at what God is doing. Evangelism is a very fearful thing to man. We have nothing to give God, we have no elequent words, we can't reason a person into the kingdom of God. Those who evangelize have to start on their knees, knowing our weakness. We have to pray that God give us His words to speak. That we may be silent and God speak through us. That the Spirit of God may save the lost. That He will increase and we decrease. God has shown me time and time again that resting upon Him is the only way to glorify Him. I thank God for His faithfullness in the lives of those who share the Gospel and in those who are called by Christ to be His sons and daughters. It reminds me of an old song, sung by the young men who died in the Amazon so many years ago "We rest on thee our Shield and our Defender. We go not forth alone against the foe. Strong in Thy Strength safe in Thy keeping tender. We rest on Thee and in Thy name we go..."
I rest on You my God help me, sustain me, keep me with Your Righteous Right Hand. I love You.

God Opens Blind Eyes

God is awesome in power, mighty to save. I went with my small group to watch a dear young brother get baptized. I heard the Gospel preached with the power of the Spirit of God. Instead of just one God brought the nations to hear about the Son of God holy, righteous the Savior of sinful man. God brought a Cambodian woman, a Liberian man, a Ukrainian woman, and a young Hmong girl they were baptized. Their are testimonies of the grace of God. We are a body of believers from all over the world may God be magnified He planned this night. Christ is our propitiation He justified us. Praise be to God.

The struggle

Sin is to be fought with the weaponry the Lord provides.

 

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 

Sin in the end is death and life only found in Christ.

 

 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, " Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

 

Yet if we persevere

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,  obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.

We will receive the crown of life.

Know where I am

God knows. He knows my thoughts. I am in turmoil. I have a wound I do not want anyone to pick is that too much to ask. Yet is must be revealed. It started out three years ago with this thought submerge yourself in a fictional fantasy to withdraw from the day to day hardship of the road I was traveling. God is worthy of all trials or the refining fire that I may be cleansed from all impurity. I am convinced that Christ takes us through hard times for His glory. God grant eyes to behold you, to thank you in all circumstances. You are my God and I want to extol your name forever and ever.