Diary of a Single Christian Female 2/25/11

There has been so much to think about. Praying that God would change me. I am looking for a room to rent. Realize I need God, I need to change. Praying that God directs my steps. I don't know what the future holds and I being a person who plans, wants everything to go according to plan. Yet its not my plan its God's plan. I am blessed by God and want to draw ever closer to God and I have found that He is always near. I as I am, am driven to wander away from God, to seek what only He can give elsewhere. I wanted a true Father who would guide me to be ever closer to God. I wanted to walk on the path with others. I sought a perfecting love from those who sought to be served, and control over me. All the while God is worthy to be served, yet humbled himself to the point of death on a cross. God is in control over everything, nothing is a surprise to Him. To glorify God is the reason why I live. I am putting my trust in God in the matter of marriage. He has placed this desire within me and I know it is not in vain. I pray that God would sanctify my future husband, that he is given a servant's heart, that his hope is in God and that he is a man after God's heart, I pray that he is learning to be a biblical leader, and is learning how to wash a wife in the word and lead his family. I pray that God would test his faith through fire. I pray that he be in God's word and be passionate to proclaim the Gospel, and the works of Christ. That wherever he is the God guide him and watch over him. I pray that he be a humble godly man whose trust is upon Christ. I pray for myself that I seek God, that I may be a humble woman who hopes upon Christ. I pray that God may break me, sanctify me, test me that on the day of his return I may be found spotless and without stain, that I may be in God's word and trusting on His promises. I pray that God readies me to be a woman who loves her husband and children, and that my heart and that of my husband to be guarded, not to seek love early.

Diary of a Single Christian Female 2/22/11

Well this week has been hard. I want a job so I will be looking harder.I have been blessed to feel the presence of the Lord keenly. The bible has one main premiss JESUS. He is the man-God to be worshipped and treasured. Our lives have to be about Him. I hope that is what my life says but I am sure one or two things can be said 1) She really holds marriage in high esteem or 2) Jesus is the most important thing to her. I would rather it be Jesus but sometimes I am afraid I may give the impression that marriage is most important to me. Die to self and live for Christ, going down in a blaze of glory is quick but to repent and trust upon God daily it will have so much fruit when one opens their eyes to the true reality.

Romans 8:5-15

For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh-- for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"

Diary of a Single Christian Female 2/20/11

I am often wondering what does the future have for me. Where I am supposed to be and where I am supposed to go? Yet right now I am excited about what the future holds. I am free, free. He has set me on the high places, anxious to see Him face to face. I see the woman He wills for me to be and I know that if my eyes are set upon Him, I shall overcome sin, and my flesh will be put to death. To Christ alone be the glory.

Diary of a Single Christian Female 2/17/11

I love kids they are so sweet and needy. I am blessed to be in a church where I can serve in that way. 12 Children 4 workers a wonderful time had by all until the talk about marriage and children, come on why talk about. I had three kids near me at one point and I remembered my mom saying that when she hugged us she felt full. Yet its only a shadow of what will be felt in heaven. Maybe that is what I love about children and about marriage because they point to the closeness and love of Jesus Christ. When we draw near to God we are filled with Him, his love, his grace. No other pleasure compares to this, all else is a counterfeit. God has been gracious to me the last three days. Its had but I am in the midst of battle for purity and for God to be first. May all honor be to Jesus Christ.

Diary of a Single Christian Female 2/11/11

So much can happen in a week and I feel free. God is really good to me and I am hoping to find out what is in store for me. I am not going back to school because that will drive me crazy. I am so easily distracted. I am praying the Word is all I need.

Diary of a Single Christian Female 2/5/11

What does love look like? The cross, a man giving his life to people who are undeserving but have become sons and daughters, fellow heirs. It looks like a man drawing his unfaithful wife to a place where he cares for her and loves her and makes her forget all the men she had been unfaithful with. It is a humbling thing to love another, because it means serving them esteeming them higher than self. Yet God, Jesus Christ must be first and foremost in one's affections. Love wants what is best, what will make us more conformed to God's image. It wants the other washed clean by the word. I am prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love and yet I wake up in the morning because of His mercy upon me. How could I be so cold?