Love

Do I love? I have an issue with that. I have problems letting people in. I like supporting others and sharing what I have. I just don't like bearing my heart. Frankly I, even more, don't talk to men about issues that would make me emotionally vulnerable to them. Right now though I feel the loss of it I don't think the dream deferred I had would in this life come to fruition. At times it makes me a little sad but I am not inconsolable. I will not be sorrowed for long because my joy comes not from circumstances it comes from God. He is there, he helps me, saved me, cleanses me from my sin, wants my best. I don't need my dreams, I need God.
He loves me not like man does with conditions, to be, dress, or act a certain way. I don't have to be a hipster, I don't have to be 20 something. I don't have to be Caucasian. I don't have to be skinny. As I draw closer to him I am more overjoyed, that a Holy and Righteous God would take someone like me. I am nothing but He is everything. On that day when I am clothed in the garments He provides all the trials, the mourning, the loss, will be shown to be slight. I am not a feminist who thinks that men aren't worth it. I think men of God and fathers are a blessing. I have a dad that God provided and I am blessed. Do I have Godly men in my life?......

End of us (Facing Death as a Believer)

As surely as we live and breath we are sure to die. Yet one thing remains God's word.
There are people who seek to keep it at bay, who refuse to fathom it until it strikes. As a result of Adam, we will each face it, unless Christ returns before the end of the days God has allotted to us.
What I have been thinking about is how does a believer face the end of a loved one and the end of ourselves.
A few passages come to mind upon pondering it for a moment. In looking at the word, these truths are clear.

1) We are finite, but God is infinite.

Psalm 103:13-14 NASB
Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.

Psalm 103:15-16 NASB
As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer.

Isaiah 40:6b-8 NASB
All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, When the breath of the LORD blows upon it; Surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.

2) Death should not have victory over us even if it does take our lives or the lives of those closest to us. (If we are in Christ Jesus)

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NASB
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.

1 Corinthians 15:54-57 NASB
But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written,
"Death IS SWALLOWED UP in victory.
O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY?
O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?"
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

3) Suffering does something good in the hearts of Christians

1 Peter 1:6-7 NASB
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

James 1:2-4 NASB
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Death is hard to face, whether it be the death of those close to us or when facing our own death. When we lose loves ones we are no longer able to see them this side of eternity. We will miss them, we will still love them, but we cannot allow death to have victory, to keep us stagnant. If we ourselves are facing death I would hope that instead of behaving like King Hezekiah....

2 Kings 20:1-3 NASB
In those days Hezekiah became mortally ill. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him and said to him, "Thus says the LORD, 'Set your house in order, for you shall die and not live.'" Then he turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, saying, "Remember now, O LORD, I beseech You, how I have walked before You in truth and with a whole heart and have done what is good in Your sight." And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

We will instead be like Paul who said these words by the Spirit of God.

2 Timothy 4:6-8 NASB
For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.

Philippians 1:21-23 NASB
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;

Grief without hope is so sad, when that person does not known God, neither has evidence of salvation. Faith is known by one's works, yet salvation is not a result of works... For me I know that whether I live or die may it all be for the Glory and Honor of a God who has washed away my sin and will someday present me before God the Father, blameless, though I am undeserving of this great gift. Do not think because of my view that I don't understand, I know personally the pain of loss with losing a loved one. Instead of turning to God through that time, I sinned. That is why after losing others I have learned to cling more closely to God who comforts us in all our afflictions. My plea to those who are truly believers, cast your worries upon God because He cares for you. There will be grieving but God will be there like He says in Second Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.

I could not imagine going through such a time without God.

Psalm 116:12-18 NASB
What shall I render to the LORD
For all His benefits toward me?
I shall lift up the cup of salvation
And call upon the name of the LORD.
I shall pay my vows to the LORD,
Oh may it be in the presence of all His people.
Precious in the sight of the LORD
Is the death of His godly ones.
O LORD, surely I am Your servant,
I am Your servant, the son of Your handmaid,
You have loosed my bonds.
To You I shall offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
And call upon the name of the LORD.
I shall pay my vows to the LORD,
Oh may it be in the presence of all His people.

Submission, Spiritual leadership

No spiritual leadership... It is okay. In the ideal situation one would have godly leadership that calls you out, that motivates and prioritizes a closer relationship with God. We don't all have this.
So what I like to do to be exhorted is read the bible. There is so much to read in the bible to make clearer one's picture of God.
He is so much greater than one can imagine.
My thoughts are going somewhere I did not intend. What I wanted to speak about is submission for the single woman. There are certain things that are on my mind. Our submission is foremost to God and God may grant biblical leadership, in the church. It is a good thing.
One has to compare though the leadership to the word of God if it is something that is more strong arming than humble leadership it has to be confronted.
What should leadership be..... My thoughts are many.

Dreams and wakefulness

In my dreams I feel powerless to stop myself from committing grievous sins. There is an attitude of wanting to seek feelings and fleeting moments of euphoria and just seeking and seeking and seeking with no satisfaction it was like my God was my belly but it was always hungry.
I didn't want to wake up I wanted to wallow in my slop. It is in those moments that I fear for my soul.
I used to be addicted to romance, to reading, there was an adrenaline rush when I read them. Books and my sin have polluted me. Yet God calls me to be pure. This can happen, by the renewing of my mind, God using His word to wash me.
May God conform me to His image, and may I draw close to Him.

Perseverance, Repentance for a lifetime

Christianity is not a checklist, its not attending church on Sundays, it is not prayers before meals and bedtime that have nothing to do with God and everything to do with what you want to extort from God. I want people to know that if you seek God for what you can get out of Him in this life, then you are wrong because you looking for the temporal to satisfy. The crowd who was fed by the loaves and fishes thought to make Jesus king forcefully because he fed them. They were seeking for the food that perishes but not Christ who could truly satisfy. We can be in the world but not of the world. We cannot be so drawn to what the world offers. When Christ is your treasure he will make the movies, the books, the plays, the dances, the unbelievers, parties, the food, the fleeting pleasures of this world will grow dim. What is associated with Christ, the bible, prayer, the fellowship of believers, evangelism, and missions, should draw us.
Tell me do little steps equal sanctification when there is no repentance. No, since salvation is a supernatural work of God,then you should be changed and sanctified daily. I am grieved by something and have been to years and know that God can change things. One has to see the depths of their lostness before they appreciate the salvation God offers. An acknowledgement of sin without biblical repentance... This is what God says.
2 Corinthians 7:10 NASB
For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.

Christianity is freedom to live a holy life not by our own efforts but by the power of the Holy Spirit. We will fail and sin at times but not to the depths of the past and we will be conformed and transformed day by day to the image of Christ.
Examine yourself be sure you have entered the narrow gate and are on the narrow way.

Love One Another

What does love entail?
Love is not a sentiment, a trite word that show itself only one day a year. Its not an obsession. It should not make you weak. It is not showy. Instead it shows itself in service, in action, not teddy bears or candy but in every day encouragement, in praying for them, in helping them. As I look and see the stores fill displays with candy and teddy bears and flowers I realize more and more "No greater love has one than this that a man would lay his life down for his friends".

I don't want to love in word and not action but I also don't want the world's idea of "love" without the reality as how it is seen on the cross.

Remembering

Memories can be good or bad. I will mention the bad first. Past sin can run like an epic movie in one's mind. It leaves such a bad taste and feeling within and at times has me wondering if I have truly changed.
The glory of God has a way of showing us who one truly is without God.
Isaiah 6:5 NASB
Then I said, "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I live among a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."

Yet remembering good, remembering the good things God had done, remembering who God is, is something the bible in the Psalm and even in the the New Testament speaks of.

Psalm 63:6-7 NASB
When I remember You on my bed, 
I meditate on You in the night watches, 
For You have been my help, 
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.

Psalm 77:11-15 NASB
I shall remember the deeds of the LORD; 
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. 
I will meditate on all Your work 
And muse on Your deeds. 
Your way, O God, is holy; 
What god is great like our God? 
You are the God who works wonders; 
You have made known Your strength among the peoples. 
You have by Your power redeemed Your people, 
The sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.

Luke 1:46-55 NASB
And Mary said: 
"My soul exalts the Lord, 
And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. 
"For He has had regard for the humble state of His bondslave; 
For behold, from this time on all generations will count me blessed. 
"For the Mighty One has done great things for me; 
And holy is His name. 
"And HIS MERCY IS UPON GENERATION AFTER GENERATION TOWARD THOSE WHO FEAR HIM.
"He has done mighty deeds with His arm; 
He has scattered those who were proud in the thoughts of their heart. 
"He has brought down rulers from their thrones, 
And has exalted those who were humble. 
"He HAS FILLED THE HUNGRY WITH GOOD THINGS; 
And sent away the rich empty-handed. 
"He has given help to Israel His servant, 
In remembrance of His mercy, 
As He spoke to our fathers, 
To Abraham and his descendants forever."

In reading God's word there is so much to learn about God and to remember about ourselves if one looks to themselves they will always see lack but it God there is satisfaction of the soul.

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In reading God's word there is so much to learn about God and to remember about ourselves if one looks to themselves they will always see lack but in God there is satisfaction of the soul.