Thursday, November 26, 2015

Thankfulness, Advent Season, and celebrating the Christ has come

Isaiah 9:2, 6-7 NASB
The people who walk in darkness Will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, The light will shine on them...
For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, On the throne of David and over his kingdom, To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness From then on and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will accomplish this.

This morning I woke up in a pique of self-indulgent 'I want it my way tantrum.' Thank God for a phone call from one dear friend that reminded me this day is not about me and what I want to accomplish but about God and having gratitude towards Him. Cultivating gratitude is not a once a year kind of thing but instead having been grounded upon the knowledge that He has not only provided me life, He has, through the work of His Son Jesus who is the Christ, paid the price for atoning for my sin! He has given me new life after all the evil that I have done giving me beauty for ashes. So instead of posting food pictures I have decided before Friday begins to do as the Psalmist did in Psalm 63, to meditate on His in the night.

Psalm 63:6-8 NASB
When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.

I am remembering a song called "Call to Advent" in which two songs are blended together with the men singing "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel and ransom captive Israel", while the women sing, " Let all mortal flesh keep silent". This season has for a long time been one of disappointment not because of gifts but because I know, I know that this time to celebrate the birth of Christ should not be centered on material things but the worship of a God, who put on flesh, descending to Earth to live the sinless life that we could not, that Jesus would be that lamb who pays for our sin by laying down His life and bearing the wrath of the Father. This thinking over God, has made all these verses and songs and praise spring in my mind in quickfire bursts, yet with a clarity that God grants I see His tender mercies towards me though I am....me, small an insignificant sitting here, in the dark. Thanking God.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Unmeritted favour

Today I went to a wedding I think it's the second one this year. I am grateful to see God's hand in making it happen. I am seeking that God continue to help me to rejoice with others in times of celebration and to weep with others in their times of sorrow. I don't know how I feel right now. I am happy to see God at work. I guess I feel bereft. I can't truly connect. There is part of me..... God knows, God sees, God hears. Another holiday season coming up.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Filling a need

This has been on my mind and I am hoping that if this is a stumbling block that God will help you. Being single is hard yet its a gift. It means having more accountability, it means being more honest about where you are. God has been very gracious in that although there is a desire for a godly marriage and to have kids, I know that God will grant me grace.
I will speak of my heart at this time I am seeking that it not be bitterness that rises up. At times in churches as a single one feels like an outcast, that the next level of maturity is marriage. I was at a get together where the conversation was about jobs careers, kids and their rearing. Tell me what is a single girl to do? The love of God I am glad is different it is one that says though mother and father forsake me God will take me in. I have noticed that women in the world feel it worse in the misassumption that a companion, a husband, some kids will make you happy. If someone is looking for outside circumstances to finally grant you peace you are woefully mistaken. The reality of Christianity is that our worth is not of our own making, our joy is not because we are the pinnacle of success, instead it sees our own inadequacy and share that there is One who is worthy, worthy of knowing.
To the single women who know the Lord, who love Him though they have not seen Him, I pray that God be your rock, your fortress, your strong tower. That your eyes will not waver from the race set before you. That you not view your life as any less fruitful. Do not be stagnant but grow, in holiness, in knowledge of Him who laid down His Life for you. Love others and flee from the temptation to think that having attention from a man will make you happy.
I have all I need in Christ.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

After the Cruise

I usually when on vacation I usually write something. The lessons were... I am sure the classes were great and taught technique but I couldn't get thrilled. I ended up spending most of my time in my room. I left for four things food, early morning devotions, two concerts, and to roam by myself the island of Nassau. I learned something though, the things of this world don't tempt me. There are stumbling blocks that the old me would love to hear, to do. God is stronger. So my vacation was a bust but what can I do? I am resolved to do something better with the funds God has provided.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

A look at my life

I have been in really good conversations and am beginning to see how much people need the hope and the peace that comes with the salvation that comes from Jesus. Single and feeling lonely, no Christ is not a pill you take to feel all happy. What He does is share that there is hope, that He also felt anguish and pain, joy and love, and that our hope should not be set upon circumstances but instead to set out minds on the things above.
On Sunday I was convicted when a person mentioned bitterness as a sin. I have been bitter and at times its a wonder why lemon does not poor out from my pores. I was worse and God knows how many times I avoided children, couples be they courting or married. It is different now. I remember in the different weddings I went to I was so bad. Thank God I can finally go to weddings again, I remember one where I held a door closed while I.....
Lately I have been uncomfortable around guys. Letting people in is getting better but there are still some things where only me and God know.
This weekend I did open up about my frustration. I felt like a little kid unable to do something. I don't remember why though. My memory has been getting really bad.
My brother has been a help in all this because he cared enough to ask and gave me a hug when I need it. He is a real sweetie.
So I have a small group on Saturday and some Spanish speaking Christians I meet on Monday. On Monday we talked about the role of women. God knows that according to my rating system it is up there.
1) The Gospel
2) the nature of God, the bible
3) Relationships, Courtship, and marriage
4) What biblical manhood is
5) What the role of women is
So now you know.
On Saturday I met with my small group and really appreciated confession and prayer.
In the Christian walk what one has to look forward to is the growth. That we cultivate and stronger relationship with God. How one does that is through the means God has provided prayer, the Bible, and fellowship.
Look what they devoted themselves to in Acts.
Acts 2:42 NASB
They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.
I realize more and more that though one cannot neglect personal time with God, neither can one neglect corporate fellowship. It is a fine balance. One thing that has stuck with me that has been on my mind to be careful of and is the last verse in 1 John.
1 John 5:21 NASB
Little children, guard yourselves from idols.
I cling to knowledge that He who began a good work in me will complete it.