Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Raindrops keep falling

Today is strange because for some reason, I feel like a beloved bride. This is weird I know. I will list the reasons why.

-The rain reminds me of Ephesians 5 where it says.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word...

Rain makes me feel clean.

-The bible

Two verses came to my mind this morning

Psalm 45:10-11 NASB
Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear: Forget your people and your father's house; Then the King will desire your beauty. Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.

Song of Solomon 2:10 NASB
"My beloved responded and said to me, 'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along.

- a peace that surpasses understanding.
(Circumstances that came about yesterday)

Philippians 4:6-7 NASB
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

John 14:27 NASB
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

I feel loved today and it's not that I do not feel loved others days but today it has been brought to mind anew.

I am seeking that anew my heart be drawn to the Lord. He being to me as Psalm 45 says.

My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. You are fairer than the sons of men; Grace is poured upon Your lips; Therefore God has blessed You forever.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Taking me back

A while ago I fleed and sought to hide from my kin
Yet You were there at the tarmack to slice through my skin
Using solely Your word
Knowing even before I heard
Fear had me running away
Shame had its say that day
I sought that no one should see
The sin that I strived hide
Bided its time that it would
Come teeth bared
Knowing it's next meal was me
I played dead
Isn't that what one is supposed to do with a predator
For almost a year I let it gnaw
After a year I still bawl
Salty streams
Flowing forth hidden rivers
Of bitter tears
Peter my kinsman
Cause I denied your power
That if I resist satan would flee
And I would finally be
Free
Then the Beloved led me, and I leaned upon Him still hurt from the battle
Returning to my kinsmen

Public and Private Holiness-workshop notes

When thinking about holiness think set apart very unlike society, goodness, perfection, no blemish. I think of being pure in thought, in actions, in private and public. It also means being consumed by a pupose, a cause. It is about being good and wanting to see others have that good.
People think of holiness as being sanctimonious, of being holier-than-thou, of being hypocritical because they are unable to follow all the rules.

I am taught about holiness from the word of God.

1 Peter 1:13-16 NASB
Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;  because it is written, "You SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY."

Holiness is God's primary attribute.
Covenant is a legal agreement between two parties. His covenant with us assured us of our sanctification.

Christians have a calling to be holy. People of God are called saints "holy ones". Ex. 1 Corinthians 1:2 NASB To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours:
We are holy and being progressively made holy (sanctification).

Holiness as seen in different denominations

Lutheran: The art of getting used to Justification, our work

Reformed: Becoming like Christ, sin is no longer our master, able to obey by the power of the Spirit

Romans 12:1-2 NASB
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Wesleyan: becoming in reality what is already ours in Christ Jesus. A 2 stage view of holiness.

1) Conversion

2) Experience by the spirit complete sanctification, sinlessness

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 NASB
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

What I have learned

This walk is hard. You battle against the world, against non-believers, against one's own flesh. I have learned many things,that if I were to get married,  would benefit a husband. The reality is that my greatest joys and triumphs were not learning to cook, or crochet, or to sew, but were learning from the Word of God, the riches of glory afforded to His adopted children by knowing His Son Jesus who is the Christ. Through Jesus one can know the Father and through  Christ we can ask of the Father according to His will and He will provide.
I am now reading the biography of Hudson Taylor. I have been interested in mission work for the longest time. How many times have I gone so far away only to pray that God by His Spirit will move on a people to make much of Him. I by His grace serve the Living God, the Only True God. As time winds down for me to go to Chicago I pray that this will be a time to seek the Lord.
"Draw near to the Lord and He will draw near to you, resist the devil and he shall flee."

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Really?

Tonight by the grace of God I was awake during the sermon. It was a time to praise and worship God. I had been praying that the prayer of repentance would calls to repentance more sins. God heard my prayer. God is answering my prayers. Then singleness was talked about and my gut reaction was I don't want to hear it, though I was the one who suggested it. It made me think. I pray that God may grant me discernment as to whether I am sad because of my sin or whether the sorrow is just a trial issue. May God provide help with that.
Now as to the reason why I started writing today started off bad. I was grieving over life events and a tension headache ensued, some things were accomplished. Then I received it a text. The past came back to haunt me. I knew what the other person wanted but that Janette Iks poem  "I will wait" comes to mind right now about wanting to make a guy the one though his first name was Luke and his last name was Warm. So I asked for forgiveness about the past and with it came this sense that it was finally over.
This day in the end I hope will remind me that though I live in a fallen world. Where there is sin and darkness. There is a light and the darkness has not overcome it. May Jesus the light of the world shine a light within me and around me. To God be the glory.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Glitter

I am sitting at work looking all polished up my new dress looking all pretty but I am no different inside than the last two days though the last two days I was wearing t shirts and pants. I had my hair pulled back into a ponytail. Frankly the exterior can lie, one can look all polished and lovely but it could be fake. Just like one can fake it through a situation, so can one's veneer pass for the real deal.
For a long time and in some situations even now I just tend to put myself into group social things and at times it is not hard to be in them, but tough to just be my normal obnoxious self. I have been very moody lately but I am thankful that God has changed my health situations. That though I feel overwhelmed I was to lean on Him.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

True Revival Born out of Sincere Devotion

When I was 22 God met me while I was shelving books at Wilson Library on the University of Minnesota Twin Cities Campus. I had been trying on my own strength for years to be free of sin, depression, loneliness, and a great fear of man. That they would reject me once they knew my struggles, the depth of bitterness within, and the willingness to hit low and hurt others just to feel superior. God was gracious to me and thus at the time that He saved me I had a zeal and a fire within that was almost put out upon comparing myself to people surrounding me at the time. I was viewed as a radical, fanatic, and by some a killjoy.
I didn't want to listen to secular music, still don't. Don't want to watch TV or devote too much time to it. I wanted to evangelize, and ended up reading the whole bible in a year and a half. Was seeking modesty, am still seeking it.
Yet I saw people who did much of what the world does and I decided for a time not to bother with the Christian life. By God's Spirit I was convicted and have sought not only to be as in love with the All Sufficient God as I was in the beginning but to be even more so.
So I seek to read the word, to meditate upon it, to pray, to sing praises, and to make His name known. I know that the walk is not always the same but the direction is towards sanctification. I seek also to fellowship with like-minded believers and to renounce all worldly things that seek to take my attention from the one true God.
So I hope to run the race as to gain the price of the upward call of Christ.
This does not mean to live a dry boring life but should be fun and satisfying with struggles, and good times, happiness, laughter and sorrows.

The bible is clear as to ones walk and what a believer seeks.





Portion out of Psalm 63
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.
When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.




Portion from Psalm 67
God be gracious to us and bless us,
And cause His face to shine upon us—
That Your way may be known on the earth,
Your salvation among all nations.




Portion from 1 Thessalonians 5
But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.  Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.
Brethren, pray for us.
The one that I was reminded of this morning was a Portion from Romans 12
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.



Sunday, July 5, 2015

Struggling for purchase, a foothold

In the midst of this darkened room, remembering today the struggles, the highlights.
This morning when I awoke I did not want to go anywhere I did not want to do anything. All I truly wanted to do was have a pity party, poor me. Yet maybe God wanted me somewhere else than my plans.
So instead of going the soccer game that I really wanted to go to I sought to stay home. Then I either called my sister or she called me, and she invited me to church. God must have wanted me there because in less than an hour she and I were on our way. It was wonderful to worship God, to seek Him. Then we heard testimonies from those in Minnesota Teen Challenge, how God can set the sinner free. Afterwards we had lunch but the real struggle came when I got home.
My mind was flooded with different portions or written porn I had read in the past. I fought it. Then the other temptations came demanding me to give in. Thanks be to God He provided a way out.
Then tonight He met me. Songs flooded, scripture came to mind, and I am so thankful that sin did not devour me and its all due to God.
"You are are all in all. Jesus, Lamb of God worthy is Your Name..."

Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Light Shines in the Darkness

One thing I cling to in the Christian faith is that Christ has overcome the darkness. For me temptation comes in coveting and gluttony, and romance novels. These I struggle against and by God's grace I am having victory as far as my thought life and reading romance novels. I am struggling with eating and coveting but I am by the grace of God fighting. God has a way of calling attention to the sin. So I will seek holiness and sanctification.

Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming.  If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone also who practices righteousness is born of Him.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

June 30-July 1, 2015

What can I say? It has been such a blessing to be given a platform on which to share the Gospel. I am not super spiritual, I am seeking sanctification but am always seeing my sin. My pratfalls in the faith. Yesterday I was able to have fun with my sisters. I probably did not use my words to benefit my older sister. Ephesians 5. Afterwards I just was able to clearly give out the Gospel if not feeling that I probably rushed it. Hopefully an unbeliever will hear it. Am excited about Legacy coming up.