Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The evil of evil and my sinful flesh

I have decided to write something person out of my day to day life that one would see the depravity of man, and how long I still have to go. I have a Christian Spanish Group I meet with on Mondays. It's great, it causes me to really think. Today it was light hearted we played Taboo. I digress. After this I waited on the corner of 3rd Ave. S. and 4th St. S. in downtown. While there a newer model minivan followed a lady with a child with a stroller while she yelled. "Stop stalking me!"
Then once I was on the bus a large young man kept harassing a young lady. He was belligerent and hated authority. I got so mad but I didn't say a word. We all hated what he was doing. Then an older man said something to the young man. When the guy tried to instigate a fight with the older guy a lot of people on the bus got in between him and the older man.
I got off the bus with the older man, so angry so emotional. Usually I feel tough, yesterday I felt small and weak, but so mad.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

My prayer

God you see me and know me. From head to foot. And here I am, unknowing where I will be or where I will go. God You have been good to me and no matter how far away I go, you are there. You are sovereign knowing the end from the beginning. God give me a faith and trust that no matter how hard things get, or how people mock when I share my longings. God I place them before you, do with them what you will. In the end I wait upon you. With you and I, I want it to be like this.
"Who is this coming up from the wilderness Leaning on her beloved?"
"Put me like a seal  over your heart, Like a seal on your arm."

Monday, September 21, 2015

Ministry

In the Christian walk, works show that a person is saved, yet salvation will never be a result of works, at least not our own work. Our works cannot atone for our sin, and self-righteousness is a sin because it tells Jesus Christ we have no need for his work. God has given me the opportunity to serve while I work. I get to meet people to speak to them to offer counsel, all the while showing them the love of God. I thank God for this job.

In my happy place

I was not feeling well two days ago and wanted to curl up into a ball and hide away from the world. I wanted to imagine myself far away. I wonder if it's okay in God's eye to do that, to for a moment escape from my circumstances.
I have been thinking a lot about Christian Community, about life, and about the love of God toward a believer.
The church in Acts was not perfect as the letters Paul write can attest. It can though teach us some things. We are to have all things in common not meaning that we look the same, or have the same background but that in the end we are the body of Christ and what we have is not really our own. They prayed together, and broke bread together.
My life is pretty quiet. I go to work at times do an activity in the afternoon or evening then go home. I don't usually stay out past 10, unless I am on my way home. I don't like have to much idle time because I know the temptation to use that time for evil. It has taken much time and effort to gain contentment. I find that if I humble my self and bare my scars and sorrows to God, He can heal them.
I have been thinking about the love of God. It's different than man's idea of love. I don't have to look a certain way. I don't have to pretend to be different, instead I can joke, and can coo at babies, I can have the lopsided awful looking afro I wake up with and He would still find me lovely not because of me but because of Jesus Christ.
I woke up this morning with much to think about and if I did not know that God will get the glory I would still be in a fetal position on my bed. Thank God.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

To share

Close family knows somewhat of my past since they were part of it. They see my carelessness, my stubbornness, and my somewhat unladylike tendencies. Friends from church and friends at work see my utter need of God. I ask for that as a constant prayer needs, at work they hear me pray constantly, "God help me." Acquaintances will hear me laugh, will see my silence, will see my discomfort when I feel out of my comfort zone. There are those who have shared with me special moments, cooking together, doing hair for weddings, helped decorate for weddings, worshipped together, witnessed together, prayed together, comforted me in my tears, shared meals together. Then there is one who has been with me since the beginning, He has been privy to my thoughts, watched me where no one else could see. He has been my fortress, my strong tower, my heavenly Father, and my hope. I have been blessed, I have no need. To Him I belong.
May gratitude result in praise. May deep sorrow result in praise. May this life bring glory to my God.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Vacation from life as I know it

I am a homebody. Hard to believe I am sure. I flitted to and fro finding so many things to do to fill up my time. If I slow down what will I find. I have loved my time here like I usually love everywhere I go and so Toronto will join the list.   Of special places I love to go when I am weary. I was able to do so many things. Catch a flower thrown by a galant night, spent time with a friend, shared the Gospel, spent time with God. Tomorrow I will head back leaving this special place. I love going back, at least that's the good thing about returning home. It's disorienting to come back and find that things stayed the same.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Toronto: Day 1 and morning Day 2

I woke up at 1 am on the day I was to leave for Toronto. I was missing a few items and people at my job were excited for me. Away from the daily routine even though I love my job and coworkers. I am a last minute kind of person when packing but plan months in advance when going away. When my brother came back from Toronto I thought I want to go to. So here I am. Yesterday was a mess I go here at 10 and thought to go to the grocery store but my backpack was too heavy. I wandered aimlessly no signal on my phone (boost should be in Canada too). I took the bus to Kipling, then transfered to the subway to get to Union Station in the heart of Toronto. In this city 6-7 million people live there. The crosswalks are huge. The bus system since I don't drive is amazing. They have a mix of buses, subway, and streetcar. Once downtown I was going to find a McDonalds just to find something cheap to eat. Then I  wound up finding a sushi place. My sisters would love this place which is called Bento Box. Then I headed back to Union station to seriously search for the Clarence Park. I asked the TTC worker if he knew where. Thank God the station had WiFi. I was able to get general direction where it was bus not specifics. I then proceeded to ask a guy at the bus stop. The guy decided to try to flirt and I flitted away. I would up getting lost but as we were passing God in His many kindnesses decided to have me look and we passed Clarence Square Park. I went down about 5 more stops before I thought to get off and look more closely at the park to see if it was near where I needed to go. God is so good. The place is nice. I am staying at a hostel and sharing a room with 7 other girls. I wound up at nice thinking that I could check out a dance class while I was here. I looked at the dance and decided against it. The good thing was that there was a market on the ground floor.
I used the subway system from Kipling to Union, then from King to North York so basically going to most of the stops on the subway system.
Now to talk about this morning. God is so good to me in that as I met with Him this morning in His Word. He impressed in me again the importance of Christian community. Having people to pray for you, to encourage you, to speak the word to you. It is a good thing. May God the ruler of heaven and earth show you more of himself in His Word.