A lost notebook and what it contains

In the beginning of December I misplaced a little notebook. I use that book in order to have a correct view on love. After years of reading romance even if it did not have sinful parts in it, the ideas it propagates are still wrong. So I seek to when I am thinking about the romantic kind of love between a man and a woman to focus on the love of God. His love never fails. Man looks on the outward appearance but God does not. So it was gone and I didn't know where it was. I was afraid of it getting back to me. The girl in love with love......... The good thing is that at least it was not that one book where I wrote letters to my future husband, yes I was for a period on that bandwagon. Its been about 4-5 years since I last did that. Now I am reading the Bible in order to know God and thus love Him more.
The great thing is that I left the notebook at the church and I was able to get it back, and no one read it. Yay!!!!
Looking back though I wish that I had earlier realized that marriage is something that is given by God to some people. It is not guaranteed and God is not any less good if He has other plans for me. I am satisfied in Him alone. Is the desire for marriage there? Yes. Do I need to fall over myself to attract a man? No. Is my worth found in having a boyfriend or husband? No, it is that I am abiding in Christ and His banner over me is love.
Ephesians 3:14-19 ESV
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

December Advent

Christmastime to me holds a lot of disappointment because even as a child I never got excited about the gifts. It's different now because I get excited not about the commercialisation of a holiday meant to celebrate the coming of the Lord Jesus who is the Christ, but to ponder that God was made flesh and dwelt among us and we who are Christians have seen His Glory, as the only Begotten Son. Anyway that is why I celebrate and why I am grieved at times to see the massive purchases of gifts. I celebrate His coming at church every Lord's Day I will take that and rejoice. The Saviour was born.

Poetry and Thoughts 10/23/2017

I love some poetry not all. I hate how some have made it profane. Anyway with all the time I have I have been thinking of writing again. Stringing words into a garland and hoping that it would honor God. May the words and my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to the Lord I think that is somewhat what the verse says.
This is not poetry or a vision but more a thought in my head. It was me in a white ankle length dress. It was not embellished much but was still lovely. A hair wreath on my head. Anyway it was my view of a wedding day...... Anyway I contrasted it with a view of myself in the field. I was in the midst of a people I do not know and looking up my eyes bright, in my hands the scriptures. I wonder what the future holds but to God I place my trust that he will led me where I will go.
His Name will be proclaimed among the nations His salvation to all the peoples.

A God who forgives

I have been under the assumption though I know better in my mind that God loves a person on a merit based system and the was wrong. God's love is set upon His Children while yet unredeemed sinners. Jesus Christ paid the debt we could not pay. He lived the righteous life we could not live.  That those who belong to Him, repenting of sin and believing His work would be redeemed, a blood bought people who reflect His Glory. May God continue to remind me of the Gospel.

A month of silence

God has been so kind and gracious to me. He has after years of fear had me pass a driving exam. He provided a vehicle through my dad. I am thankful for His work. My friends at church are a source of encouragement and I see more the need to have accountability and fellowship. Reading through the High Priestly prayer Jesus prayed in John 17. God displays there love and care.

Glimpse of grace in the Hardest of places

I do not write as often as I used to but I hope that what I do write will glorify and honor the Lord who is worthy to be praised. He came to earth, to his own people but they knew him not, but to those who did receive him, who believed upon his name, he gave the right to become children of God who were born, not by the will of the flesh, or the will of man, but of God (from John 1). What I feel burdened to write about, to encourage is the body of Christ. The local church in all the world knowing in some places that the meetings are clandestine. I used to be a member at a huge church and I hid there where I came out to served but never really knowing people and the people never really knowing me.
Fast-forward to now and I by God's grace meet with a smaller body of believers. Anyway just to say I love them and I love the leadership it is something that during this point in my life I need.
Anyway just to say that I have been thinking much about the hard places where there are believers where other religions dominate and being a Christian means persecution, fiery trials, sorrow yet where the beauty of Christ, looking at the Gospel and God by the Holy Spirit sustaining a little flock who are called by His name.
Being a Christian in the US....we are still called to die to ourselves to be pilgrims on our way to a better place a heavenly Zion even while getting glimpses of it here on earth. Christians are called to be knit to one another, encouraging one another, admonishing, caring, bearing with one another.
Anyway I will just cease my ramblings but not before I say this. Christ is worth the loss of our homes, our security, our property, He is a greater inheritance worth the loss of our very lives that we should gain Him and the power of His Resurrection. He grants a greater love, a greater hope, a greater joy, by bearing our cross. We bear our cross which means the death of our will, our desires for the sake of something that far surpasses the things of this world. May I and the body of Christ remember that.
I serve a living God. Christ is risen.

Where the past and future meet

Proverbs 31:30 ESV
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

I have not written for a long time. What can I say about what the Lord has been doing. I have learned more to lean upon the Lord. That when my eyes are looking too much at myself there is only sorrow and discouragement. When my eyes behold the risen King seated at the right hand of the Majesty on High. The one whom the Seraphim say Holy Holy Holy. I am awed, and humbled, grieved over my sin yet knowing there is hope in the Lord.
I hope to remember. Yet I pray that in all thing the Lord will bind me to Himself. May God make me into a woman who fears the Lord entrusting my life, my heart, my soul, to His tender care.

Jesus

There are figure in the Bible admired for different qualities they have.
David a man after God's heart. Jesus knows the heart of the Father and pleased Him.
Solomon who was given wisdom yet Jesus displayed God's wisdom.
Samson who had physical strength yet had sin in his life. A Nazarite by vow. Jesus having greater strength that He will trod upon His enemies in the winepress of His Wrath.
Jesus is greater, He is the object of our faith. He is God in human flesh. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Spirit Filled Christianity

I am reading a book by John MacArthur called Strange Fire. My opinions have long been that the Spirit has to be according to the parameters God sets forth in His Word. In the end the work of the Spirit has been to glorify Jesus Christ, the Son of God, second person of the Trinity. So in accordance to the Scriptures are these things going on in Charismatic churches a work of the Holy Spirit? The shaking? No. The falling back? No. If one looks at the Word it causes me to think more and more how good theology helps when faced with hardship and illness and even death.
1 Peter 1:6-9 NASB
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,  so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.

At the cross

It was there
In the distance was seen
A saviour crucified for me

Where a father's wrath was satisfied
And sinners set free
Where the penalty was gone
Leaving righteousness in it place

Surely this was truly grace

April 3, 2017

After watching a biography of Hudson Taylor I was astounded and praising the Lord in his work of drawing people. People like Hudson Taylor, Andrew Murray, George Whitfield, George Mueller, and David Brainard counted their life as loss. American Christianity has comforts, distractions, entertainments, that may take one's attention from the plow. We must look to Christ. We must live in the truth of the Gospel. Everytime I watch a biography of believers long ago I want to have a faith like they did. May I and my brothers and sisters in the faith continue to grow and mature in our walk with the Lord.

Thoughts today March 14, 2017

There is a hymn I like among many songs I like called "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus".
"....to take Him at His word."
This is a struggle sometimes because I like certainty.
But in God's word it does not have conditions it just says. "Trust in the Lord."
It also asks one's soul to rest on the Lord.
So that is what I am seeking today.
Those who are believers are in a battle for faith each day but I rest upon this His promises are not idle, He shall not leave or depart from his bride.

On the Solid Rock

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

I love this song, it points so poignantly at His immutability. He does not change. He is steadfast and thusly when we are abiding in him we will be unmoved as the home whose foundation is built upon the rock.

Matthew 7:24-25 NASB
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.

I will by the work of the Holy Spirit hold fast to the Lord Jesus Christ through whom one is adopted by the Father who holds fast those who are called, and predestined to be conformed to the image of Jesus. They shall not be shaken, through all life's circumstances.

A prayer

John 17:25-26 NASB
"O righteous Father, although the world has not known You, yet I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me; and I have made Your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them."

How great is the love of the Father for us that the Son would pray such a thing for us. God listens to the righteous so then those who are born again according to the Spirit have this promise. We know that He came from the Father. So he will make known the Father's name to us and the love of the Father will be in us.
They will know us by the love we have for one another it says in 1 John, it will be because our love will not be as the world loves with its conditions. The love is patient and kind it does not boast or demand its own way, love bears all things,  love never fails.
God is faithful, he will do it.

In weakness

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NASB
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

As I go on this life with the Lord, I see my weaknesses. I see more and more His grace upon me. What He is making of my life I do not know. Who knows but him the finished product but right now but I am hoping.
That I will lean on Him for repose
That I will meditate upon Him at night
That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection
That I will count everything as loss
And be found in Him having a righteousness not of my own but that which comes through Jesus

I am aware of my shortcomings, my sins, my folly and trust upon His sufficiency for all I need for life and godliness.

What I as a Christian Woman Want to Be

For a long time I have been seeking to become that Proverbs 31 woman. In all honesty I am not. But who I desire to be is  that woman with a quiet and gentle spirit. At peace because God granted me reconciliation through the work of Jesus Christ. I want to be that person who though her eyes are set on God is able to share God's love that has been shed abroad in my heart. I want to be that person who fights the fight of faith. I want to pray for my brothers and sisters in the faith, seeking their good. I want to encourage and exhort my spiritual family. I want to know Him and the power of His resurrection. To be found in Him. To dwell in His courts all the days of my life. To remember Him in the watches of the night. To keep His ways and not depart them. To die to myself and live in the light of His Son. He is forever and I am finite. God knows my length of days on this earth, the grass withers and the flower falls but the Word of Our God remains forever.
To Him who is able to keep His people until the end. Be Honor, Glory, Power and Dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Goal

As I have been reading Passion and Purity. I have realized and have a motivation to:

Point people to the Lord
Serve in simple ways
Have in my heart the Scriptures
And seek to reflect purity and holiness in my actions and words

May what I do, say, and think be pleasing to the Lord.

Seeking Wisdom

There are times when I commit folly, and speak instead of listen. I was reminded today actually just a few minutes ago that wisdom helps in living a godly life.

Proverbs 2:1-12 NASB
My son, if you will receive my words
And treasure my commandments within you,
Make your ear attentive to wisdom,
Incline your heart to understanding;
For if you cry for discernment,
Lift your voice for understanding; 
If you seek her as silver
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will discern the fear of the LORD
And discover the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
Guarding the paths of justice,
And He preserves the way of His godly ones.
Then you will discern righteousness and justice
And equity and every good course.
For wisdom will enter your heart
And knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;  Discretion will guard you, Understanding will watch over you, To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things;

Hopefully this will be an encouragement to those who have done folly. Have spoken too much yet not listened. Not learning. Seek wisdom in God. Do not seek the Worldly Wiseman's ways instead seek the way of that woman calling out in the streets.

Proverbs 1:20-23 NASB
Wisdom shouts in the street,
She lifts her voice in the square;
At the head of the noisy streets she cries out;
At the entrance of the gates in the city she utters her sayings:
"How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple-minded?
And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing
And fools hate knowledge? 
"Turn to my reproof,
Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you;
I will make my words known to you.

I will seek wisdom.

New Year-Holiness

There are verses which speak about holiness in the life of a Christian.

2 Timothy 2:21 ESV
Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

1 Peter 1:14-16 ESV
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

Ephesians 1:3-4 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love

God has through the preaching of the word at church and through my time reading the Bible has been impressing on me the need to be cleansed from sinful actions and thoughts and instead by the aid of the Holy Spirit live a life that reflects Jesus Christ and not the world.
This means growing in fruit, sanctification.

Galatians 5:22-24 ESV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18 ESV
And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

2 Peter 1:5-9 ESV
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge,  and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.

May God conform all believers to the image of his Son. Growing in the fruit of sanctification.