Giving a Desire to God

I need to grow up and it is about time. I have struggled so long but I realize that I have put much time into worrying about it. For long I have spoken about how courtship should go and that people must go about it in a way that would glorify God. I will wait for God's timing on it. I am not going to get my name out there or worry about what the future will bring.  Its a constant thing and reminder. My life is not how I have lined it up. I will live my life in a way that will honor God by relying solely upon him. God has helped me out so much. I will seek God and let him guide my steps. I won't worry about tomorrow for todays troubles are enough for today.

Preparation

I am about to turn 25 in 13 days. In general I do not ask for anything. I just want a peaceful quiet time with family but in general it never works out in such a manner. So my sincerest want is that I am not putting  the things of this world first. I have had a bad habit of putting my eyes onto things that I will not take with me when I leave this world. So what should I ask for. That Christ might be glorified that instead of thinking about Jack Frost, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus, and Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer people might see that it is about the Son of God, Jesus Christ born in Bethlehem who died for the sin of the World. It is not about the presents it is about Christ. 

Living to Glorify God

I live with family and I am not going to say anything about their walk. I realize that I am in another stage. I have been down. I have surrendered to him. I have other things I must surrender. I have so much sorrow when it comes to others but God has been good to me and continues to be good. God is in control and I will pray that he will work in the people I know. 

See in Me

I see so many things rolling inside me. My flesh is doing battle with the Spirit of God who is growing me in holiness. The things I want to do I cannot do. 

I am angry at my older sister and I am wrong. She rejects God and it makes me angry. I cannot see how anyone can refuse so great a salvation. I give her over to the hands of God I can do nothing. I can't push people into growing in holiness. How much can I say. I stumble, I am a sinner. I need my savior each day. I don't ever want to be complacent about reading the bible, about gathering with other believers. About evangelizing. I want to proclaim our state before God and Christ Crucified. I deserve Hell but The only Savior paid the penalty for my sin. I am wicked yet He drank the cup of God's wrath draining it. In three hours Christ suffered more than any sinner would in hell. Do you think really God standards his justice is so weak. He slew his own Son because he hated sin so much. Sin requires punishment we are wretched evil vile corrupted worms .

Trials

My mom has cancer once again. I am among charismatics who believe if you say it you claim it. If you have enough faith healing will happen. What happens when it does not? No, matter what I know God is with me and I will cling to him. I know God heals but it is not up to us. It is not by our faith or lack of it. It is not due to the past, it is all in the hands of God. Should we take the good from God but not the bad even though it may mean He wants us not to rely on ourselves but only on our Savior and God.

Preaching Online

I feel blessed that my brother pointed out an opportunity for me to still be a witness even if it is online. Yet I want so much to do open air preaching yet I need encouragement and to have other believers with me good fellowship provides that. Anyway I have been around an issue I had one disagreement and just cut myself from the situation. I have so much going on right now. I want more than anything that my life may be used to glorify God. He knows my inner thought so I do not have to say more. I am entrusting my future to His hands. I wish I could know what happens to me in the future. I love this saying I heard it at the end of Ten Shekels and a Shirt so I will use it now May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His sufferings. Let my life be lived for Christ that whatever happens I will submit to Him. 

Not Right

I have been neglecting fellowship I decided to stay home. I have not been evangelizing at all and you know what I long for that. Why do I seek what is not of the Lord. God should be first and I should proclaim Him from the roof tops. We are filthy rotten creatures who do not deserve the mercy of God yet He was willing to die for us while we nailed Him to the cross with our crimes. We need Him don't think you don't. I don't ever want to turn away from Jesus.