Friday, December 4, 2020

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I struggle a lot. At work I get annoyed and angry. At home I keep lecturing. I see faults in everyone and most of all in me.
It's easy on different platforms to set myself up as this spiritual super Christian yet have days when my eyes take in iniquity as if it were water. Days that I do not read God's word because I know in it will be conviction. I feel dirtied because of my sin and something tells me how could I go to God like this. God will not despise a broken and contrite heart. God says come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest for your soul. 
God here I am, my sin ever before You but I know that the sacrifice of Your Son is sufficient for all my sin. So my hope is not in my Bible reading, is not in my prayers, is not on how kind I am to anyone on any given day. My hope is that your mercy reaches to the sky. I often feel like the leper in Matthew who comes to Jesus and says, "Lord if you will, you can make me clean."
So here I am in all my mess and sorrow, asking You to help me. Give me a greater love for You, by Your Holy Spirit empower me to obey You. Let me see that You are my portion in the land of the living. I place before You my brothers and sisters knowing their need of You,Your working in their lives and in their families, both saved and lost. That You be foremost in our affections, and that we would could everything as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing You Christ Jesus as Lord. Amén.

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