A Desire for Missions

I watch documentaries. I read their biographies. Men and women who forsake their old manner of life and security to gain what they cannot lose.
Mark 8:34-35 ESV
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it.

There are people who have not heard the truth of the Gospel. People who have heard mangled truth deceived into believing false doctrine about God and about Jesus.
1 Corinthians 1:22-25 ESV
For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

When I go to different countries I always want to see the work of God there. Believers are family no matter where they are. The body is United in Christ.
Anyway I am restless right now knowing that God has me here in Minnesota for now but wanting God to take me somewhere to show love and hospitality to the brethren wherever God would have me. To encourage the body, that Jesus Christ would be glorified.

Not waiting

I should be up and doing something. I just am finding myself pondering contentment during the marriage class in my church's Sunday school.
I sent a letter with questions to the pastor about what is it to find someone to run the Christian race with. To seek a person for the reason of ministry.
I am wrong I know. In the Bible times were different.... Yet so much easier everything arranged by the families. Now Christian women wait for action from men and it sucks.
Worldly men come at me all the time and I hate that. Christian men locally don't look at me.
Today it was an especially difficult class because it didn't seem to give any hope for those who are single to have their desire for marriage be calmed by fellowship and friendship.
My heart is quick to find offence or to be sorrowed when it come to hearing about marriage. It is brought about by God. He orchestrates it and brings people together.
Contentment I long for, wanting to find my joy in seeing Christ, seeking His face, and being in His word. It's hard but worth it, I want to fight for holding fast to Christ by the work of the Holy Spirit.

Gratitude

It was hard for me to be thankful for the little things, because I focused on what I did not have... I felt like I had done my Christian duty why was God not fulfilling that desire in me to be a wife and mother and later on I got upset with not being granted the opportunity to go for a short time and be on the mission field.
God has taught me since to be grateful for my union with Christ. That He has granted to me all I needed. He has provided a body of believers to fellowship with.
I have a hard time being myself sometimes around them. I hate whining about singleness. I want my faith to be strengthened. I want my friends and family to trust the Lord and be found in Him, clothed in His righteousness alone that day.
I have found that being in the word and being in prayer is such blessing to me. During the day the Scriptures rise up in my mind and strengthen my soul. I want my life to be lived for the Lord. My life belongs to Him.

The prayer life of a believer

So many prayers are in the Bible. From one Psalm the cries out Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 65:2 ESV
O you who hear prayer, to you shall all flesh come.
There are also the word in which God promises to be there.
Psalm 50:15 ESV
and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."

So what do you pray for Jesus in the Lord prayer this is what Jesus prays.

Matthew 6:9-13 ESV
Pray then like this: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

And He prays in John 17 that we be one with Him as He is one with the Father.
Paul for the Colossians prays that...
Colossians 1:9-14 ESV
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;  being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy;  giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

I have been more and more convicted about our need for prayer. That we be strengthened in our inner being. That we a rooted and grounded in Love. That we fight and not remain stagnant. That we love one another with a pure heart. That we be more conformed to the image of Christ. That we count all things as loss compared to the reality of knowing Christ as Lord. That we see him and know him and love Him for He is worthy.

Fighting the Good Fight

The growth of a Christian walk is something to be undertaken even though it means hard work, spiritual battles and temptations from the flesh and from the world. It means reading God's word even though at times it does not move me as it should. It means seeking to live a life of purity though at times there is failure. It means praying even though at times it seems God is not there and is not listening to my prayers. These are lies though, God's word never returns void, it's always profitable. Those who are pure at heart the promise is they shall see God. Thirdly the Holy Spirit Himself intercedes for us. Our will when it's alined to God's will there is peace despite the battles and adversity from within and without. So as believers we have to put on the full armour of God and seek to live lives pleasing to the Lord.

Ephesians 6:10-19 ESV
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,

To be a sister

I was searching through the books for sale at church. My eyes roamed over the titles and once again they paused over Godly Intimacy in a godly marriage I think that's the name. I shake my head and now I think why the heck do I need to go to a Sunday school about marriage. Right now my flesh is saying forget it I don't need to go to that. I go to a small church, it's mostly made up of married people, two young men, and me the older single lady. I have read so many books about marriage it's not even funny which is why that book will never be on my bookshelf. I diverged so far from my original premise that it's not even funny. So I kept looking and saw a book about loving others which would probably help a lot. I am trying to learn right now to love my brothers. What can I do to love? God has convicted me of my attitude but I know that it's through Him and His living and active Word can my heart change. I would put examples on how I don't know how to treat people but it's not funny to me. It's kind of sad. To those who have dealt with my attitude I repent knowing that it's a sin to lash out at people with bitterness. I regret not really knowing people because I want to keep my heart safe.

How God uses Singleness

Singleness...what do I say about it. It's a gift that I don't particularly want. It's something that I need. It would be easy if I were in a relationship or even married to make the other person my idol... Just like I have made marriage my idol. At the end of this year I will be 35 and this is what God has taught me.

The primary lesson is that God, Jesus Christ is preeminent.

Colossians 1:15-20 ESV
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

Second, people cannot satisfy my restless soul.

Psalm 62:1-2,5-6,8 ESV
For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah

Third, unlike people, God's promises made in His word, shall come to pass.

2 Peter 1:4 ESV
by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.

There is so much more to say about singleness and how God uses it to have us dependant and trust Him.