Change and growing Love

My friends are getting married. Things are changing. Marriage means becoming one with another person, another picture of the church. It means a commitment a covenant made before God. So why do I feel strange. Why do I feel that my life is going a place that I do not know? God have been allowing me to be me. Parts of me need to change. I need God to do a work in me. I do not want envy to grow. I will trust that God will do as He will, my life is hidden with Christ on high. I guess I am afraid to put that desire in God's hands. Yet my God is faithful even when I am faithless. Lord please help my unbelief.