Friendship and fellowship

What can I say about this. I do not like being vulnerable I do not like showing others areas of my character that would be hated. God help me I am so afraid of letting people in because I know they will let me down. God knows me inside out. He knows my fantasies, and wishes, my sarcasm, rooted in sin. My hope is in Jesus. Yesterday I spent some time with women who treat me as a daughter. I do not know why I am being emotional. I spent the day with two different groups of woman and I have to sat I like being steamrolled. Ok I will get them done and will get my ears pierced again.