I am not her

"Do not stare at me because I am swarthy, For the sun has burned me. My mother's sons were angry with me; They made me caretaker of the vineyards, But I have not taken care of my own vineyard.

Don't look to me for beauty

Don't look to me to be that trophy wife

Don't look for fluff

'Cause you won't find it here

I am not perfect

I am not unashamed

I am not your ideal

I am not who you look for

I am not the one

I am not hospitable

My adorning is not jewelery but neither is it a quiet and gentle spirit

I am not as I should be

So don't think I am her

I am not of a mind to encourage you

I cannot be a helper to you

I cannot be who you need me to be

So don't look for marriage here

I am not her

I have realized that though I have in mind the woman I should be. I am not there yet, but I don't want to be a curse to any man specifically a godly man who seeks to serve God. I am not going to even try to be interested in anybody. Its a distraction I do not need. God will reveal whether or not I am to allow a courtship or marriage but in the meanwhile may I be fruitful for his purposes.