Having Christ

The end of any good works is to honor and glorify God. Good works can be even cleaning the toilet at church, at home, changing diapers, taking care of the ill and not sounding any trumpets. The Christian life is about private time where no one sees but God, then the Lord being reflected in how you treat others. Meet with Christ personally, love the brethren, count others higher than self. Ministry is nothing if God is not in it.

Fellowship

Tonight was sweet and God has been so kind. This week has been wracked with stress and worries culminated in a time together with believers that was a sweet balm to my weary soul.

Maybe I should be more concise and instead of trying to use similes and metaphors just share my heart on a lot of matters. For me I dislike shallow conversations so when I can I seek to love and listen to others share their heart and struggles. I like to help, I love to share the gospel, I want my life to be lived to glorify Jesus, who loved me and saved me from the punishment I deserve. 

It was fun to spend time with friends and to talk about the Lord. I am thankful for how much God has been working in our lives even when we don't see it. 

Joy in the Lord and work in marriage

When one holds fast to God it is easy to see that marriage is not to be all and all. I love marriage and the picture that it is supposed to be. I had asked for it from time to time before I got married wanting it so much that it had been an idol. I sinned grievously against the Lord during that time. My husband was different our relationship began with us talking about the Lord. I was scared in the first days of us knowing one another. Could he see how broken I had become because of my own sin. I had sought intimacy as a substitute for marriage in the past. Even though I was still struggling God had mercy on me. I was finally praying for what I longed for in my heart. Our marriage is not perfect I show so much selfishness at times. Hubby has at times his own sin struggles. We show patience and grace to one another. We push ourselves to love more, bear with one another more. We pray together, read the word together and seperately. We want the Lord to work in our lives. We have been taught by God to be this way towards one another. This has brought about an almost extended honeymoon stage not because we are perfect but because God has taught us to love. 

If Christ is the foundation of a union He must continue to be. 

Abba, you have been a Father to the fatherless. You have kept me from so much harm. Thank You for Your steadfast love and mercy. I ask that You will conform us more to Your image. That Your word work in our hearts and lives. May our marriage reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride the Church. You know our desires Lord please bring them about Lord.You are the Living God and I praise Your Holy Name. In the Name of Jesus, Amén.

Loving the church

It is hard to find a church, yet the church is necessary in the lives of believers. The fellowship of the saints is how we are encouraged, by gathering together, hearing scripture, worshipping the Lord together, and also receiving teaching. I love the church, the body of Christ. 

I have been really blessed in my husband that his leadership has helped my faith to grow. I have been reading God's word, worshipping, in prayer. I know that I could have taken the loss of sweet dear people in my  

life badly, yet I realized this scripture is true, "...if we are faithless, he remains faithful- for he cannot deny himself."

So what is my life like, well work is better more manageable. I want to do more crafts but that is just in my to do when I happen to have time. I spend time with friends. I still dance on occasion at home. I cook for my hubby. He is the main beneficiary of the food I make. I still go to church, i still enjoy the fellowship of the saints. I still love God's people. I seek that my eyes be focused of Christ, I seek to know the LORD (YHWH) more. I have not arrived in my faith seeing as there is more sin to kill within me. A way to grow in faith. The Lord is good, and I seek to glorify God with my life.

Why I left

I'm alone for a moment and I am at peace with where I'm at. I am always in need of the Lord but I know that He is with me. His staff and his rod they comfort me. He restores my soul.

I have been reading a book called Bully Pulpit by Michael Krueger. I am taken aback by how this brings everything back from 6 months ago. 

By August of 2023 I had been uneasy at church. The sermons I was hearing I could not bear. It was not conviction of sin but more I was discerning something that had been growing for a while. There was an undercurrent of bullying and I see it now for what it was. 

From the pulpit a person was preached against, a person who is a believer. I was already going downstairs because of my unease. Due to the sermon a church voted to excommunicate a brother and sister who were believers. That hurt so much, it was not even me. I could not stay. I left August 20, 2023. All I know is that man cannot take away a person's salvation.

So out of the whole situation the bible is speaks so clearly to me.

1 John 2:10-11 ESV

Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.