Being Who God Wants Me To Be

I will begin with God. I think when one is informed only by parts of the Bible it's easy to look at God in two different categories. The first is of course the vengeful God who is Holy and will punish the guilty. It's easy to fear God in a way that doesn't have to do with awe but terror. People who happen informed in this way will see God as far off. The second view of God is the "buddy" God who is very human. He is all love and does in no way condemn sin. He is more a friend than a father. The truth of God is definitely more than we can fathom. Yet God can be known through his word. God is a Holy and Righteous, He is Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, of His Kingdom there shall be no end. He is Holy, high and lifted up, set apart. He will judge yet He provides pardon through His Son taking on the punishment we deserve. Yet when He does this He does not let us live in sin loving ways instead, gives us repentance. God clearly states who He is in His word.

Now about who I am supposed to be. I fall short a lot. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman, but I am not there yet. I want to be a good wife, supporting my husband, loving him. I want to encourage my family but not fall under my old ways of enabling them. My life is way different than before God brought my husband into my life and my life is all the better for it. Most of all I want to be a woman who fears the Lord.

What I learned in Puerto Rico

From maybe 12-5 am no one obeys the traffic lights. The food did not taste like it did in the past. I still have this feeling of being at home. Though I can speak Spanish I am not at a level to get all my points across as easily as I  do in English. 

God will provide. 

When you have a lot its easy to want even more but when you have little you are thankful for what you do have.

God is my strength and my song.

Weight Loss and Living a Healthy Lifestyle

From 2018 to 2019 God put it in me to lose weight. I had a very sweet friend a nutritionist who helped me out. I went from 252 to 199. After a relationship I ended up at 242. Then I started losing weight again and I met my now husband through it. We walked together, read the bible and Christian books together. Then after marriage I made our meals but unfortunately made large portions so my husband gained 30 pounds and I went from 185 to 253. Then slowly as I started making our food from scratch I started losing weight. Last year after a high stress job I started doing exercise, treadmill, low carb, high protein. I went from 242 to 216. My husband has been my cheerleader. I am so much more active since starting my fully remote job. Less stress I am thankful to God. With my husband I was loved even when I was chunky. His love reminds me of God love. Our marriage has change my life. 

Already February

I have been going through a trial and I realize my body can't take any sugar. When I was growing up we grew up on highly processed food and even though now I eat homemade foods from scratch any starch has been affecting me from... one of my desires. God is faithful and has been helping me. In this time I am thankful God put a song in my heart. I am still working on losing weight and have had a lot of slow but sure progress. So I have to be sugar free I wish I could find the reason why but for now I will keep praying and thanking God. God please continue to hear me when I call. Thank You for my husband and this place You have us. We trust in You not in man. 

The Little Things

All of the little things add up to the bigger picture of a relationship. Today even though my husband was far away he sent me some messages that will warm even the coldest of hearts. I am thankful to God for that. I think when you find someone who loves deeply and shows it in practical ways that is a blessing. Life is sweet and God has provided so much. God has redeemed my life from the pit and even when I wasn't listening to him He still brought me close. Work has been steady and I am so glad to have more peace. I wonder at times why God has led me so far to get to this point now and I see that without the trials, without the sorrows, without the folly that I have committed, I wouldn't be so filled with gratitude now. Darkness comes before the morning and God has made beauty from ashes. 

Romance After Marriage is not dead

My husband is very romantic and I am like a girl who still squeals at her crush. The other day hubby saw it was my break time since I work from home. He came to my office chair set up in the kitchen and swept me up into his arms and carried me the other room where we have his office and spare bed. I am chunky and when he picks me up or just carries me I realize that romance should not be done with after marriage. Love should be cultivated and is an action. These 4 years are a blessing and I thank God.

If Wishes Were Horses

So as a Christian you are supposed to work as if working for the Lord. I work hard and I also seek to make our house a home. At times I wish I could cook for a side hustle. I like to make quiche, bake cakes, learn how to make cinnamon rolls and sell them so that I do not eat it. I am not a food influencer. I just want to use the gifts God gave me in order to make extra money. I am so glad my husband loves food. I am glad for the small items I have sold and hope to make more.