True devotion

For a few days I have been disquiet. My soul was in turmoil within me. The glory of the Lord is not given to another. No one can satisfy like our God. Before I was a believer I knew that no one was able to soothe my sadness to bring peace to my soul. God gives me that everyday is not hunky dory. I worry, sadness come, and at times I seek the temporal things rather than God. Yet when He brings the Light of the world to shine in my life this causes me to stand.
Isaiah 42:1-9 NASB
"Behold, My Servant, whom I uphold; My chosen one in whom My soul delights I have put My Spirit upon Him; He will bring forth justice to the nations. [2] "He will not cry out or raise His voice, Nor make His voice heard in the street. [3] "A bruised reed He will not break And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice. [4] "He will not be disheartened or crushed Until He has established justice in the earth; And the coastlands will wait expectantly for His law." [5] Thus says God the LORD, Who created the heavens and stretched them out, Who spread out the earth and its offspring, Who gives breath to the people on it And spirit to those who walk in it, [6] "I am the LORD, I have called You in righteousness, I will also hold You by the hand and watch over You, And I will appoint You as a covenant to the people, As a light to the nations, [7] To open blind eyes, To bring out prisoners from the dungeon And those who dwell in darkness from the prison. [8] "I am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, Nor My praise to graven images. [9] "Behold, the former things have come to pass, Now I declare new things; Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you."
This is my beloved.

Life, singleness, and praying for a godly spouse

I have to by the grace and empowerment of God seek not to compromise on this point. Marriage is not about companionship though it is a side benefit. Marriage is not about the fuzzy feelings, infatuation  found in the world. Singleness is the period in one's life where their heart has a single-minded devotion to my soul's beloved (for the Christian) which is Jesus Christ. I have to say mold me crush me make me mature by your power I am nothing but You are the all powerful God.
Who knows whether the Lord is calling me for singleness or marriage? Yet I will say this about me as a Christian woman I wait for this when it comes to a possible spouse.
1)Single-minded devotion to Christ
2) Being a man meaning to be ready to be priest, prophet, provider , and protector for his home and family
3) A man of prayer
4) A man who shares the gospel
5) Who communes with the Triune God
6) Who lives out his life to honor God in holiness and purity
7) Who will be the Spiritual leader to his home
If God so wills this will happen.

Wedding, This morning, and True devotion

God was gracious for me when I was a guest at two weddings by giving me two verses.

 

For one girl I wrote this verse

 

Set me as a seal upon your heart,
    as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
    jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
    the very flame of the Lord.

 

For another who waited two years for her husband I wrote this

 

for behold, the winter is past;
    the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth,
    the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
    is heard in our land.
The fig tree ripens its figs,
    and the vines are in blossom;
    they give forth fragrance.

 

Today I was reading

 

And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.

 

"And in that day I will answer, declares the Lord,
    I will answer the heavens,
    and they shall answer the earth,
and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil,
    and they shall answer Jezreel,
and I will sow her for myself in the land.
And I will have mercy on No Mercy,
    and I will say to Not My People, 'You are my people';
    and he shall say, 'You are my God.'"

 

It is a portion of a scripture that I come back to because I am prone to wander and be distracted away from my God.

 

In the portion of Romans this is what stood out

 

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

So this is what I got from all of the scripture I have thinking about today. We are bought and paid for sealed to be the bride of Christ. On the day of salvation and each day afterwards throughout eternity of God calls to us betrothing us to himself in his splendour of Holiness. He is a God who abounds in mercy and steadfast love. We are justified by faith in Him, in the work of Christ. Even though we are unlovable He loves not because of anything we did, but because of who God is. Does it not make you want to praise God, worship God, serve God, and love God.

Biblical Womanhood

It is hard to be a woman, to wait. It is easy to fall into self-pity. To think that God is not moving and working in a girl's life, a single girl's life. Yet God's glory is revealed in our weakness, and I am very week. God is good and His promises are a "yes and amen" in Christ Jesus my Lord and God. God is not like man that He should waver or change His mind.

 

This is the portion of scripture God would have me hold to Isaiah 45

 

I call you by your name,
    I name you, though you do not know me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other,
    besides me there is no God;
    I equip you, though you do not know me,
that people may know, from the rising of the sun
    and from the west, that there is none besides me;
    I am the Lord, and there is no other.
I form light and create darkness,
    I make well-being and create calamity,
    I am the Lord, who does all these things.

 

 

Thoughts at 4 am Thursday and same day at 11 pm then at 6 am

At four in the morning the rooster crowed from my alarm clock. I had gone to sleep trusting in the Almighty Sufficient Christ who in Revelations is to wipe every tear from their eyes. I woke up sorrowed, yet even through it I cried out to God that He may set my mind on the things above. It was such a battle yet I knew this. I am clothed in the righteousness of Christ it is no longer I who live but Christ in me.

Muchas cosas pasan alrededor de mi. Siento como si mucho cambia pero mis circunstancias no cambian. Pero esta vida esta en las manos de Dios. Estoy en este carro pero estoy millas de este lugar. Soy amarga voy a decirlo como es. Dios conoce mi corazón. Estoy cansada mi espalda siente como es una roca. Yo tengo solamente a Dios y no es nada para ser triste. Si hay momentos cuando tengo satisfacción en donde Dios me tiene pero ahora veo que Dios me esta conformando para cerca humilde como su Hijo.

I woke up and I do not know where I stand but beg God save me from this body of flesh. God be glorified in my life. I want God what else do I have.

Missions, preaching, and being a woman

Since my college days I wanted to be a peace corps volunteer. When God saved me in 2006 that changed into wanting to do missions work. Now fast-foward to 2009 when I went to California because of a deep desire to evangelize, to be a witness. I want to see the lost saved and God made me a woman. I have a role God has called me to yet where does that leave the yearning to go and proclaim, where does that leave my desire to be sent... God is so great and terrifying. He says live and we live, He shuts and opens doors. I will submit to what God wants, His will be done and I will be honest this terrifies me. I wanted to be a missionary, I wanted to be an evangelist, I even wanted to be a wife and mother but I lay it before the Lord. May I die that God may dwell in me more richly. I want to cry but if this is what it takes not to have a shallow "christianity", let it be done. I lay it before God my life my all its His anyway. God to You belongs the power, the glory, the dominion, the majesty, the glory forever and ever. Amen.

In the Valley

God sets the feet of His people on high places.

I work for the county, pension, life insurance... The Lord has provided and is showing me not to cling to this.

God is revealing pride and impatience, wanting my secret desires to come true rather than wanting God's will done.

Today was back and forth for me periods of crying out to God in between times of work and my own sin. I have been literally in tears and I hate it.

Brokenness over sin, over my life, over my coldness at times. I do not know God as I ought , trust as I should.

I have given my desires to the Lord and I am dying to them. They have been with me long and have been used to inspire coveting, idolatry, ungodly fear.

Christ help me. Please help me and magnify your name.