Living to Glorify God

I live with family and I am not going to say anything about their walk. I realize that I am in another stage. I have been down. I have surrendered to him. I have other things I must surrender. I have so much sorrow when it comes to others but God has been good to me and continues to be good. God is in control and I will pray that he will work in the people I know. 

See in Me

I see so many things rolling inside me. My flesh is doing battle with the Spirit of God who is growing me in holiness. The things I want to do I cannot do. 

I am angry at my older sister and I am wrong. She rejects God and it makes me angry. I cannot see how anyone can refuse so great a salvation. I give her over to the hands of God I can do nothing. I can't push people into growing in holiness. How much can I say. I stumble, I am a sinner. I need my savior each day. I don't ever want to be complacent about reading the bible, about gathering with other believers. About evangelizing. I want to proclaim our state before God and Christ Crucified. I deserve Hell but The only Savior paid the penalty for my sin. I am wicked yet He drank the cup of God's wrath draining it. In three hours Christ suffered more than any sinner would in hell. Do you think really God standards his justice is so weak. He slew his own Son because he hated sin so much. Sin requires punishment we are wretched evil vile corrupted worms .

Trials

My mom has cancer once again. I am among charismatics who believe if you say it you claim it. If you have enough faith healing will happen. What happens when it does not? No, matter what I know God is with me and I will cling to him. I know God heals but it is not up to us. It is not by our faith or lack of it. It is not due to the past, it is all in the hands of God. Should we take the good from God but not the bad even though it may mean He wants us not to rely on ourselves but only on our Savior and God.

Preaching Online

I feel blessed that my brother pointed out an opportunity for me to still be a witness even if it is online. Yet I want so much to do open air preaching yet I need encouragement and to have other believers with me good fellowship provides that. Anyway I have been around an issue I had one disagreement and just cut myself from the situation. I have so much going on right now. I want more than anything that my life may be used to glorify God. He knows my inner thought so I do not have to say more. I am entrusting my future to His hands. I wish I could know what happens to me in the future. I love this saying I heard it at the end of Ten Shekels and a Shirt so I will use it now May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His sufferings. Let my life be lived for Christ that whatever happens I will submit to Him. 

Not Right

I have been neglecting fellowship I decided to stay home. I have not been evangelizing at all and you know what I long for that. Why do I seek what is not of the Lord. God should be first and I should proclaim Him from the roof tops. We are filthy rotten creatures who do not deserve the mercy of God yet He was willing to die for us while we nailed Him to the cross with our crimes. We need Him don't think you don't. I don't ever want to turn away from Jesus.

An Idol of the mind

Hosea 6:4-7

"O Isreal and Judah what should I do with you?" asks the Lord. "For your love vanishes like the morning mist and disappears like dew in the sunlight. I sent my prophets to cut you to pieces-to slaughters you with my words, with judgements as inescapable as light. I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings. But like Adam, you broke my covenant and betrayed my trust.

I  too have broken that covenant even now when the LORD has been merciful to a sinner like me. Why do I not love Him as He should be loved. Why do I not give Him more of my time. Other thoughts prevail rather than meditating on His sacredness. I would talk of thing of a biblical nature yet not use the word. The word He gave us by which to live. My walk has been stagnant yet I have learned that He has been merciful in showing me.

Love the Lord your God with all your soul heart and mind.

Yet what do I put in my mind rather than the things of God. I am ashamed. I hope to change I hope I become wiser in my walk. I have coveted an ideal. I have set it up on a pedestal, marriage and courtship in my mind. I was wrong. For that I have to pray for. I was created to glorify God and that is the manner in which I should live. To cling to the cross and relish in His mercy. God save me and change me. 

Fellowship

Being around Christians gives me such joy. God has given me so much joy in my life. Being a lone ranger Christian does not work fellowship gives Christians encouragement, aid, and being around others. Going to church and meditating on God words singing songs of praise to my God and King I will follow Him and not take shame of the cross of Christ. I will endeavor to put Jesus first.