True Revival Born out of Sincere Devotion

When I was 22 God met me while I was shelving books at Wilson Library on the University of Minnesota Twin Cities Campus. I had been trying on my own strength for years to be free of sin, depression, loneliness, and a great fear of man. That they would reject me once they knew my struggles, the depth of bitterness within, and the willingness to hit low and hurt others just to feel superior. God was gracious to me and thus at the time that He saved me I had a zeal and a fire within that was almost put out upon comparing myself to people surrounding me at the time. I was viewed as a radical, fanatic, and by some a killjoy.

I didn't want to listen to secular music, still don't. Don't want to watch TV or devote too much time to it. I wanted to evangelize, and ended up reading the whole bible in a year and a half. Was seeking modesty, am still seeking it.

Yet I saw people who did much of what the world does and I decided for a time not to bother with the Christian life. By God's Spirit I was convicted and have sought not only to be as in love with the All Sufficient God as I was in the beginning but to be even more so.

So I seek to read the word, to meditate upon it, to pray, to sing praises, and to make His name known. I know that the walk is not always the same but the direction is towards sanctification. I seek also to fellowship with like-minded believers and to renounce all worldly things that seek to take my attention from the one true God.

So I hope to run the race as to gain the price of the upward call of Christ.
This does not mean to live a dry boring life but should be fun and satisfying with struggles, and good times, happiness, laughter and sorrows.

The bible is clear as to ones walk and what a believer seeks.

Portion out of Psalm 63

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.

When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.




Portion from Psalm 67
God be gracious to us and bless us,
And cause His face to shine upon us—
That Your way may be known on the earth,
Your salvation among all nations.




Portion from 1 Thessalonians 5
But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.  Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.
Brethren, pray for us.
The one that I was reminded of this morning was a Portion from Romans 12
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Struggling for purchase, a foothold

In the midst of this darkened room, remembering today the struggles, the highlights.
This morning when I awoke I did not want to go anywhere I did not want to do anything. All I truly wanted to do was have a pity party, poor me. Yet maybe God wanted me somewhere else than my plans.
So instead of going the soccer game that I really wanted to go to I sought to stay home. Then I either called my sister or she called me, and she invited me to church. God must have wanted me there because in less than an hour she and I were on our way. It was wonderful to worship God, to seek Him. Then we heard testimonies from those in Minnesota Teen Challenge, how God can set the sinner free. Afterwards we had lunch but the real struggle came when I got home.
My mind was flooded with different portions or written porn I had read in the past. I fought it. Then the other temptations came demanding me to give in. Thanks be to God He provided a way out.
Then tonight He met me. Songs flooded, scripture came to mind, and I am so thankful that sin did not devour me and its all due to God.
"You are are all in all. Jesus, Lamb of God worthy is Your Name..."

The Light Shines in the Darkness

One thing I cling to in the Christian faith is that Christ has overcome the darkness. For me temptation comes in coveting and gluttony, and romance novels. These I struggle against and by God's grace I am having victory as far as my thought life and reading romance novels. I am struggling with eating and coveting but I am by the grace of God fighting. God has a way of calling attention to the sin. So I will seek holiness and sanctification.

Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming.  If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone also who practices righteousness is born of Him.

June 30-July 1, 2015

What can I say? It has been such a blessing to be given a platform on which to share the Gospel. I am not super spiritual, I am seeking sanctification but am always seeing my sin. My pratfalls in the faith. Yesterday I was able to have fun with my sisters. I probably did not use my words to benefit my older sister. Ephesians 5. Afterwards I just was able to clearly give out the Gospel if not feeling that I probably rushed it. Hopefully an unbeliever will hear it. Am excited about Legacy coming up.

Bringing ugliness to God

Matthew 8:2-3 NASB
And a leper came to Him and bowed down before Him, and said, "Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean." Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, saying, "I am willing; be cleansed." And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.

I did not want to see anyone. I did not want to be emotional or vulnerable so I went home. I instead set myself to clean. Maybe my surroundings the untidiness, uncaring of things are a reflection of the clutter within me.
I had set myself for so long to learn skills principles but the most needed thing was for God to do a work within.

I has been reading 1 Timothy and it was a blessing what I learned I am a woman and what it teaches I will seek to pray to God for the supernatural power to change.

1 Timothy 2:9-11 NASB
Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.

As days goes by I realize more and more that God uses His word to convict to teach to remind me of who He is and why I should lay my life before Him. There is much to be learned the longer I walk with God.

The Everyday

For those of you who know me personally you know that I seek to always at work be a kind friendly face trying first and foremost to help patients but uphold the rules. There are days when I am impatient and tired, yet God has shown me even then though I not feel like it I have to love others more than myself.
I have been working for more than 14 years. I have worked part-time, I have worked full-time, from fast food to office work. Right now I am blessed to be here though my passion is for the spreading of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Today has been hard in that I am out of my comfort zone and interaction with others is not like it usually is. I realize that though I tell a lot of people I am introverted the reality is that I am very much an extroverted loud, weird, goofball, I don't act like myself around certain people. I do not know if it stems from sin. The loud boisterous, I am happy and I don't care that you do not like it, attitude suddenly becomes withdrawn and surly. Could it be a cultural thing, feeling inadequate because the others may have that suburban middle class background that I definitely do not have.
I have always found it hard to share with others. There has only been only up to a certain point I can share. In dancing reigning in one's movement can hamper the beauty of the dance. In life not letting people in has resulted in me withdrawing to the point that I can go for a long time without seeing people.
God please help me to be honest and forthright about my walk, about who I am. Help me to walk in the light as you are in the light so that any good work that you do in me will be shown to others to come from You.


Later peoples...


Levi

Looking Good for the Glory of God

1 Peter 3:3-5 NASB

Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;

So I was talking to my sister Sammy. About how a person should look. We have differing views. On what we should wear and so on. I am more long flowing skirts and trying to wear modest tops. I am not against makeup or doing ones hair. I will be truthful I just like looking more natural. Yes there are times I do my hair and wear makeup, but I do not want a person to be drawn to that. Instead I want someone who sees the inner person a woman who fears the Lord that is worth far more than rubies. I do get my sister's point of view.