Idols and Sin

Purity is something to be sought, to be treasured, not to be despised. Yet whenever I tell people that is the reason why I do certain things it is mocked. Yet how I belittle it too like last Saturday when I met a guy. No I did not flee, and it haunts me. I am weak what made me think that I could get near fire and not get burned.

Singleness is best for me, in that I will not dwell on could have, should, have and must have and seek what is truly priceless. Christ and Him as Lord for all eternity. It is much easier to write my thoughts rather than voice them and confess my sins in notes rather than share them in person. I did what was wrong and while it was not that "act" it was still just as bad.

I struggle and I am glad I struggle otherwise it would mean despising the work of the Lord in my life. My life has not been easy since Christ has saved me in fact it seems much harder as time goes on. Yet what I worry about, what grieves me is that do I hate God, that one no among many blessings will cause rebellion in my chest? It's so much easier to write it than say it to anyone. I want purity and its about time I expose the foundation of that evil, that idol, and burn it.

May Christ allow you all to see the idols in your lives and God allow us to die to self and live abiding in Him.

Thoughts Early August

As I see the tiny pinpricks of light that shine in an indigo sky I see your grace upon me and am thankful, You are holy and I am but a saved sinner, Creator you draw creatures no higher than a worm to worship, You change a stone to flesh, I don't want to be away from your presence. Change me please for only you have the power.

A life lived for Christ

I have realized how much of a sinner I am and how daily I need grace. My life has been very selfish and at times I see a romance novel and in my mind the thought immediately appears. "Hey at least I am not going out and living a promiscuous lifestyle." It also translate onto what I eat and my attitude towards food. "Why not buy a cake or why not grab some more food." It comes down to something I have asked other girls in my bible study to call me out on. "Where are you finding your joy today?" Am I finding my joy in the admiration of men, in a delicious plate of food or are those things negligible considering the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. Is Christ my all in all? It was so easy because my stumbling made me realize that yes I was susceptible. I am not wonder woman. I am just a sinner saved by a wonderful and loving God, who loves His children (true believers) in a way that will not allow them to remain in sin. May I be sanctified and may Christ be glorified. Sinners turn away from your sin and trust in Christ. The one true God.

Biblical Womanhood

Characteristics of a godly woman

(Saved sinner)

Devours God's word (the bible)

Gentle

Humble

Loving

Faithful

Submissive

Strong (in the Lord)

Servant's heart

Prayerful

Worshipful

Nurturing

Respectful

Wise

Quiet

Patient

Kind

Peaceful

Joy-filled

Self-disciplined

All by God's loving-kindness towards us

Pain Grief

I had always thought I would be the one meant to be single and taking care of my mom as she grew older. Then when she died I fell. I thought knowing the word of God would kept me from going off the deep end but I did anyway. I'm not proud. I'm not glad. I'm fallible but even more than that I am so tired and alone. I've taken upon myself a weight a burden that is not mine to bear I'm a woman not a man. And truly what I want right now what I wish for is to relive this life to undo the calamity of these past few months. I'll be alone by June by then... by then...I don't know what I'll do.

Though your sins are scarlet He will wash them white as snow.

How could He forgive one such as I?

Pray

To all those who know me pray that God gives me strength.

Sovereignty of God

Knowing that over everything God has His hands and even though evil things happen knowing that God knows and works them for good according to His ways. It makes me smile in joy and cry tears. My life is up in the air but reading this just confirm that my trust in God is solid, a good thing.

Romans 8 (ESV)

1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh,4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.6 To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, Abba! Father!16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?36 As it is written,
For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
The more I learn about God the more I find reasons to love Him more, trust Him more, and to set my life in His hands though I am very weak, very young in the faith. I know He will not leave me at this state. He will renew me day by day.