A Single Rib getting Married

A long time ago well back in 2008 me and a couple of friends were part of a blog called the single rib society. It was for the single ladies you know. I haven't written there in so long but what can I say about it. Woman was created for man from man. God's purpose for the creation of woman was to make a helper suitable for Adam. I'm getting married. I have been through death, through a breakup, learning how to let people in and be able to share my life. God has brought me thus far and He will take me even further until the day that He calls me home. So soon I will be a Mrs. My last name will change, and I will be his as long as we both shall live. I'm looking forward to this next chapter in my life. I am very happy and very humbled by the gift that God has given me a godly Man who listens and loves me. He stopped on his way to pick me up in order to get me flowers. This love is not the world's idea of love but reflects more of God's love for me. To God be the glory, and my heart is ever filled with thankfulness.

Surprised

A woman my age from church let me borrow a book called Getting Serious About Getting Married. After reading just a small portion probably about 26 pages from that book I realized that I had been in a mindset and lifestyle that was the gearing up for lifelong celibacy, spinsterhood. Yet I have to say it was not me changing that made anything happen. What changed was God's timing to come to pass. About 9 days after posting my last post which was about me asking God to send a godly husband God did something amazing. I am thankful to God for all that he has brought me too that has led me to this place. May the will of God the Father be done.

Hard

 I started this post back in September when it was especially hard to be single. I accept it that it may be a possibility that I may be single the rest of my life. That is a hard thing to take. That has not diminished my longing to be married or to have kids. God is the one who is sovereign who draws people together. I pray that my eyes be set on Him and that He would bring a godly man into my life.

Vent

One year. So much can happen in a year. It's been a struggle. I am down spiritually and am trying seeking to be the woman whom God wants me to be.

Yesterday was hard and I mourned. Though I do not mark the day our count the days I find myself sad on those days where something significantly sad happened. I was complimented and I was told that I had been a good girlfriend. So why do I find myself such a loss right now. God give me Grace reveal yourself to me be to me that rock of refuge to which I continually come. Help me to be that woman who will go out and share the gospel. Show me, as I cry out to you, your glory and faithfulness. Do a work in me, in my church, in the world, show yourself mighty. God I echo the psalmist who said "why are you downcast oh my soul and why are you in such turmoil within me hope in God and I will once again praise you." 

So it's been a year 52 weeks and some days are easier than others but you God have been my strength. Thank you God that you are not like man that you should waver. My God is an everlasting God. There's only one and he is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

Running

The back of her legs burn

Lungs labouring 

Feet swiftly being consumed. 

The path before her feet were narrow

Hard and unforgiving 

The prize was priceless

Worth the loss of her life

This race that we run toward the upward call of Christ.

walking

It almost seems right now that I'm alone in the middle of this field this man created prairie walk. I can talk to the Lord and it will be no one around to listen. What more can I tell him that he hasn't already witnessed for his own self. I know that if I confess my sin he is able and just to forgive me my sin and to cleanse me from all righteousness. I remember starting this blog years ago trying to show off my wifely skills you know. The things I've learned how holy I am and yet the more years have passed the more unholy I seem. I have learned to cook I can clean. Those are the skills my mom thought was most useful. I have also gained more of God's word been known to intercede on behalf of others. Today at church was hard it was a tangled web of overwhelming emotions and I don't feel with emotions well at least not sorrow and emotional pain. In my life these past 37 years I have experienced a lot of death and though I know the purpose is not to break me that's exactly what it has done. At times with family I feel like I walk a solitary road. I want to give up everything in order that I might gain Christ and the power of his resurrection you know like the Bible says. So after my emotional sobbing outside far away from others I escaped after church in order not to have to share. Boohoo poor me I'm single. But like my mom always says it's better to be alone than have bad company. I heard in someone's testimony of God bringing them a spouse that they had a blueprint in their mind of who this person would be. Looks wise I could care less character wise I have very high standards because if one is a man of God wouldn't that mean that he would reflect Christ. A man of prayer that would see communion with God as he pours out his heart before him. A man who is in God's word, that it's so fill him that it saturates his speech. That he would want to worship God and all that he does. That he would work heartily for God's glory. So it's not exactly a blueprint but it's a desire of mine but after all this time of waiting I just want to put it to death. I have prayed to that end, but the desire would go, and get it remains. I don't want this to be that thorn in my side that I have to deal with until eternity. Has the walk helped I don't know but God is my strength.

Waiting A Poem

Passing

Seconds

Minutes

Hours

Days 

Weeks

Years

Until a decade passed with this desire

I wanted a covenant

A marriage covenant 

In this life

And though I am promised a heavenly bridegroom

There is still within this heart a desire for an earthly one