What to do with a hope deferred

 I know that just because I seek the Lord does not mean that what I do is strong-arming the Lord to do as I want. God is not beholden to me but I find myself lonely. I find myself needy. I miss physical closeness. I just don't miss the feeling of being used. I don't know what to do with my feeling except cry out that God  who listens to me and knows me would listen to what the Holy Spirit is crying out for and not any selfish desire.

Desire

Lord, I am here. Waiting upon you. I pray that you will meet with those I will be praying with in a few hours. That your word be my light. That is prayer I cry out for what only you can do according to your will. Please Lord grant me grace to run the race well. 

Sales

Does it ever feel, that when we are trying to join this dating thing, that you're basically a salesperson? You're selling a merchandise and that is who you are.

I go to a small Church in Stillwater. I have been a Christian since 2006. Since embarking on this journey I have seen greatly against God. Sexual sin that was a rebellion against my singleness. I have lost both my parents. God in his mercy has been seeking my good. I am so unworthy.

I have had this desire for a long time and though I know that in glory I will not tell the Lord why did you leave me single. I would just rejoice. It's just that right now the loneliness is hard.