The Difference between Past and Present

When I was younger I would have a wanderlust and would seek to go far away. God has been merciful to allow me different opportunities to go to different countries. Now with my husband I have a partner to travel the world with. In my single days it was different I could put the time in I would do what I want Hawaii was a picture of this I hiked so much went to beaches, saw waterfulls, went to the Dole Plantation. I had just met my now husband 2 weeks before and he video called me a lot on my trip. With my husband we have gone on a lot of trips, to Arizona, Canada, Texas, Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Missouri, and we have future trips in the works. We do pray for children. I hope we do. I am also seeking to live and eat more healthy. We prioritize our time with the Lord.  God knew what he was doing. I am content with my life even with trials and tribulations. Marriage is such a blessing. As I am here almost 2 in the morning thinking about the differences between my life when I was single and my life now I thank God for the gifts He has provided. 

Night Prayer

My dear Abba, there is so much to talk to You about. I am filled with gratitude for the work You have done in my life. To have victory over pornography. To give a godly husband despite my foolishness of not listening to counsel before. Thank You for my family and I pray that You will save those who have not been born again. Thank You for the examples of godly womanhood in my life. God You know how much I love missions and though You have called me to be where I am I ask that You empower those on the field. That they not be discouraged but that by the power of the Holy Spirit You will help them be bold in their witness, gracious to their enemies abounding in love and good works to both the lost and other believers. God for those who are suffering for Your Name's sake I pray that they know You are with them. Reveal to them Your lovingkindness. You are a Father who cares. I know that I bring this up from time to time but I know that You are the only one who can bring reconciliation at Oakridge and Providence. You know the extent of everyone's actions. God help me to love better. There are so many people to pray for, so my things I know only You can do. The healing of the sick, true revival instead of dead orthodoxy. I cry out to You because You spoke the world into existence, You told me while dead in my sin to live. God I hate this job but love the people and I honestly feel the weaker I get day by day though I seek to work hard. I go to sleep but wake up so so tired. Then the bleeding. Oh God please help, please heal me. You are the only one I can go to, only You have the words of eternal life. God You know our desire for children Lord. You alone knit children in the womb weaving together DNA. How marvelous are Your works among the children of man. God I praise Your Holy Name. In Your Name Lord Jesus, Amén.

Slavery to Sin versus Freedom in Christ

This morning I was thinking a lot about the deceitfulness of sin. In the past the thought of sin lied saying that in indulging it there is satisfaction. There is a lie that says that there's freedom in rebelling against the Lord. The reality of the matter is that in sin all there is is slavery because it will lie and say you have to go further into depravity and sin in order to feel pleasure, relief, satisfaction, even joy. But it is very much what the Bible says in that a person is slave to sin. All they can do is sin unless one has the freedom that is through Jesus Christ. God has been very kind and gracious to me and giving me Freedom through His Son. The freedom though is not freedom to sin but freedom to live a holy life before the Lord. When one through the Spirit has freedom they will want to please the Lord by living according to His commands His words. 

Celebrating Christ

I'm eternally grateful for the King of kings and the Lord of lords. He is the firstborn, Mighty God, Wonderful Counselor, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. It is strange how the season of Advent it only comes around this time of year though I would say the incarnation should be celebrated every Sunday well every day for that matter. It is weird in the American Church to think of the Christian faith as not just a Sunday thing but an everyday thing. It means worshiping God in all that you do everyday. Many years ago when I was at a big church around Resurrection day there was a service where it was like in the Bible when they had a solemn assembly. Sometimes I wonder if some things are staged even in church. I trust that God will vindicate the righteousness of His throne. That His people will worship around the throne. I know that no church is perfect on earth but one day it will be. I will look to the Lord our Perfect head. Lord Jesus Your name is to be honoured and feared, awesome in wonder and power. 

Thoughts about Happily Ever After

Its easy in singleness to think of the wedding as something magical, the end game. In reality its the day in day out struggle of two sinners to love one another with the love of God to share your joys and sorrows to become one with your spouse. To grow each day in the grace and knowledge of God in the roles that God has given husband as provider and wife as the carer and keeper of the home. By God's grace I love my husband more each day. My role given by the Lord is to be his helper, to help in his goals. My husband says I am his personal assistant. 

A Loving Marriage

I have been married for 2 years. Its kind of crazy to think about and to realize how great a gift God granted me when I met my husband October 17, 2021. I was in a healthy place in my life. I was living with friend and though I had been praying for marriage every day I was also taking part in a lot of church activities. My husband was biblically solid, knew God's word. He talked to me. When he met me in Sunday he did not want to wait until Friday to see me so we went out Wednesday the 20th saw each other Saturday the 23rd and went to Ikea where we walked the whole building.

Its crazy how far we have come. Even though we weren't able to get married on March 19th like we had wanted, we are thankful. We met in October, knew we loved each other in November, got engaged in December and got married in April. God is faithful. My hubby is the one God had for me and I am grateful for the gift he is to me.

The Battle for Holiness

It is so early but I felt the need to write. In the Christian life there is a fight to put to death the old man (our previous sins that ensnare us) along with its desires. The battle we wage is using Spiritual means though bodily disciple does help as well. My besetting sin the one that I struggled for many years is written porn. Right bow its not even a desire but with apps like Kindle it brings up what I in the past would have been like yes I have to read that to know what happens next in the series. Yet talking about it is that light of day after reading my bible I see where the battle is waged. It is in bible reading, its in prayers, its in serting my mind in the things above. We battle with sin each day whether its cussing, coarse jesting, lying, sexual sin, anger, worry, unforgiveness, covering, and more. We have to put to death the deeds of the flesh. Kill that old man sin, and live by the Spirit.